Sendungen

Sonntag, 20.06.2021

 
 
20 06 2021
 
trax:
mobile recorder: sitting in front of the lovely great big beautiful sea in ürkmez/ turkey
menahan street band - make the road by walking yt
menahan street band - home again yt
bobby oroza - loving body yt
superheaert - count on me yt summer fossil
smile - nat king cole / charlie chaplin
the rolling stones - miss you lp
mink the ville - demasiado corazon yt
lost tribe - walk one way yt bolt24 hot sounds
the horrors - moving further away - mp3 player
 
text:
menahan street band - make the road by walking
this day before, i ve worked in my pub and felt horrible
like the last ca. 6 months
before ive played the lp from america...well, and it was like really calm but ahm
bit depressive- ive asked chris, who is a great teammember, that i would be very
pleased if he would put his music on- well, then this arrived <3 he saved my ass
withit. i felt really 1001 x better <3
thanks to him and the music/toneworld its like a needed hugg
im so grateful of this all-
 
menahan street band - home again
was the next song after the video , ive didnt knew this song--just have pushed
the button who was next
i wasnt able to create this radioshow before, i was just
"armed" with some songs ive written just at maybe 1900 oh clock as notes in my
music-book
 
bobby oroza - loving body im subscribed on yt <3 do appeciate this uploads a lot and
it reminds me of some friends
 
superheart - count on me
when i was in turkey, visiting my parents, i was overwhelmed of a strange feeling and have started to
write into my diary in the night - summer fossil im subscribed also on yt had uploaded this song at the moment
and i was listening to it while writing, ive repeated this song at least 7,8 9 times..
it really had calmed me i am very grateful of all of these presents, moments, music, healthy ears, ability, electricity..
<3
 
i have a tongue, but i cannot speak
i have eyes but i cannot see
i have ears but i cannot listen
 
smile - nat king cole
wolfi is a supersoulfriendo , we´ve didn´t seen us about 1 year or so.. so we´re connected with our hearts but send each us always songs...
while being in the radioshow, i didnt know what i should play next, all some songs ive had where to less-
some lovely braincelles remembered wolfi, and then ive scrolled in the chat and just
found smile- didnt know exactly what kind of track just saw charlie chaplin there--
felt better and divine´s order had made me found this i assume, cause just before,
i also didnt know what to speak, but it was this- only what ive felt all the time and in this moment
and had once written down :
 
lege die hand auf dein herz und atme göttliche ruhe ein- atme chaos ausss
lay the hand on the heart and breath in divine order- breath out chaosss-
yüregine üstüne eli dokunup - nefes alip tanrisal huzuru icine cek- kargasayi nefesinlen birak
 
( saw at yt posted by fearless soul, subsribed also at yt, it was a comment from some lovely
person- and ive practiced it, and ive recocnized, that i wasn´t able to be in silence-
not a bit, no feeling, no vibe while practising, no heartfelt. ive got attentioned and more sad sadsad)
 
heartfelt-
this word i won´t forget so soon.
what, if one isn´t able to- at the moment?
or is it just illusion?
 
i have to add, that currently i live the worst time in my life where ive put myself into
a great depression, cage, live in a trauma body- i´ve did not recognize it really, it was creeping during the first months of this
nice year- ive never felt like this before and im living humility
 
when i was listening then at the radioshow live to this lyrics from nat king cole
ive cried and
smiled
ive noticed the great divine/ love is always leading - us
and put the things so craze cool and super exact perfectly together into
every fucking moment
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 gratefulness and trust
 
the rolling stones - miss you
i dont know he... ok, long story..
in may on a friday my sis called me on the phone that i should pack my things cause
i will fly on monday to our mum in turkey.. she´d bought me a ticket simply cause i
was unable to decide when to go there. as i was unable to decide these times ANYTHING- friday evening ive tried out 2 hours to create a radioshow in our
pub so that i can send this to bermudafunk that they would play this in following week on sunday- i failed in my intension
then ive started it also with miss you... ive listened to it 6 times or so trying...
at the end i was just accepting, that im simply unable to create, be creative, have a
clear mind.. so but somehow i found another old radioshow- put it on a stick and gave
it to my sis, that she can send it to bermudafunk- i didnt wanted the automatically repeat of the last show, so.. it must have been reached, she
said, she have made it by insertion registered mail but
there was no one who put it unfortunately so it was a repeat of the last show, i was
not that happy about- but what could one do about something one cant change?
accepting- learning- not to judge it and let go- it is much easier to say then to practice it
 
hunger
"wolfi, hast du jeh über deine identität nachgedacht? dich gefragt, wer du bist? ich meine, eigentlich? und wer sind die
anderen? " wolfi hatte den mund voll, also fuhr gracie fort.
"wir glauben alle, awir hätten eine identität, jemand, den wir erkennen, wenn wir in den spiegel kucken oder mit unserem
namen unterschreiben. aber dann treffen wir eine person, die wir vor langer zeit gekannt hatten. sie sieht uns noch
auf die selbe weise wie damals und sie behandelt uns , als wären wir noch genau dieselbe person, die sie seinerzeit kannte.
für gewöhnlich versuchen wir sogar, ihr zu gefallen, indem wir alte erinnerungen und verhaltensweisen beibehalten.
aber, wie vorhersehbar, wird die anspannung zu gross, und wir gehen alle weiter."
wolfi schluckte. " ich glaube, ich verstehe.
 
manchmal frage ich mich, wer ich bin, besonders in ed ross`körper. ich
habe zugang zu den informationen, die in seiner zellendatenbank- ich weiß genau, dass es seine erfahrungen
sind, nicht meine. aber mit der zeit nehme ich die dinge, die er gelernt hat, in mir auf, und daher bin ich iwie genauso
er wie ich, wolfgang amadeus mozart."
 
"vllt, " meinte gracie, "sind wir nie überhaupt irgend eine festgelegte identität. vllt sind wir einzigartige datensätze
, anhäufungen von sich verändernen informationsmengen, die wir fälschlicherweise als unsere identität wahrnehmen."
"und vllt"; ergänzte wolfi, " erweitern wir uns und damit unsere wahrgenommene identität, wenn wir mit anderen daten-
ansammlungen verschmelzen. möglicherweise ist alles, was wir jemals sind, unser vermögen, daten aufzunehmen."
"ja", bestätigte gracie. "als informationssammler für den urschöpfer hängt das, was wir in jedem angenommenen augenblick
sind, von unserer aufnahmekapazität ab. wenn du von anfang an keine identiät hättest, dann könntest du sie nie verlieren."
und mit diesen worten dösten gracie und wolfi, schläfrig von der sonne und dem wein, am rande des türkisfarbenen wassers
an einem hotelpool in beverly hills ein.
 
aus inanna- über licht- eine transluzide reise
inannas rückkehr
v.s. ferguson <3
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
hunger
wolfi, did you ever have been thought about your identity? asked yourself who you are? i mean, actually? and who are the others?
wolfi´s mouth was full, so gracie drove on.#
"we all think, we have an identity, someone who we do know, if we are looking into the mirror or sign with our name. but then we meet another person,
which we have known a long time ago. this person sees us still like we´ve been and treat us like, as if we would be the same person, which one this time
knew. usually we try even to impress those, by maintaining old memories and behaviours.
but, as predictable, the tension gets to big, and we move all on."
wolfi swallowed. "i believe, i understand.
"maybe" gracie meant, " we are never ever some defined identity. maybe we are unique data sets, accumulation from changing informationsmasses, which we wrongly
percieve as our identity." "and maybe", wolfi complemented- "we expand ourselfes and within our wrongly identity, when we melt with other accumulations.
possibly is all, what ever we will be, our property, to grabbing data informations."
"yes, " acknowledged gracie. "as informationscollector for the fountain head this is up, what we are in every adoptive moment,to our intake capacity.
if you wouldn´t have from the beginning an identity, then you couldnt lose her never."
 
...
 
snippet from the book inanna a translucide journey / v.s. ferguson
 
mink the ville - demasiado corazon
<3 listened it at radio in car when i drove home to my family - it felt like a lovely strange known hand who puts mine in my darkness-
thank you
 
lost tribe - walk one way
bolt 24 hot sounds, i do follow also on yt- he always uploads at fridays 3 singles (mostly 60´s psych, garage, punk...) ive noticed since months
the last week he didnt- !!
it felt strange - (: and i wish one day to dance beneath him when he plays somewhere some tracks oh lord
 
i am not sure if i will continue the radioshows-well, what should i tell you? i´m identified in ego, judge myself, i´m ashamed-
living for "so long" in this flight/fear mode-
where every connection to my dear body, ghost and lovely soul feels disconnected-
and i was shortly before to get into a psychiatry and wanted to call on monday-
after this sunday- and but then, i´ve felt much better after the radioshow <3
that i have tried it at least. overcoming.
 
the horrors- moving further away
 
i dont know he, but the horrors have escorted or guided me always there and then since maybe 2008- i knew them from my then boyfriend josh-
from who ive got so many input and knowing about great fine music stuff <3-
we saw them once live in munich 2008 or 2009?--but there josh unfortunately was too punk and drunk made noise so that the security had throwed him
out of the concert and i was mostly busy looking after him- less horrors
 
some tracks of them gave and give me always so much power, trust, space or a cry-shout-out-loud and feeling of freedom and sharing, tears and satisfaction, and
be holded or understood ahh- cant describe it in words- i can remember when i have listened to moving further away- so REALLY- in a growed awareness -
it was just in 2017- when ive bought finally some vinyls- laying on my couchycouch and loud tones ran through space- it was just a great journey into this
incredible song, melted with the instruments, into my fantasy and their and the horrors vibe flow <3- im very grateful of this experience and ability-
 
i wasnt involved that so much before with the horrors, just with some rescue songs i´ve listened constantly more than the complete albums
until i saw them live 2017 in cologne again- this concert just flew and blew my mind soul and spirit
everything so through so muchy much- they somehow do touch me in a special way and always save, clear,push, give hope,strength in some unholy moments of mine
and i can move on.
 
ive had a weird meeting after this concert- i was walking out leaving, shocked, that after the concert the hall was just immediately empty? all the
peoples had left so soon-
then outside the hall, a guy jumped into my direction i was irritated until i noticed there was
someone walking out of the dark sidewards- this guy was so much happy and shouted:"faris, faris!! oh can i have a picture can we make a picture together?"
i didnt know yet really who faris actually is really or his name-
it was all so fast- ive asked this guy if i should make this picture for him but he just was caught and deaf for faris´ meeting- i just could see him grin so happy-
and noticed im invinsible, ha ha :D - i left and they also- i could listen in the dark to a "C U LATER" then somehow i appealed to these words, was kinda disgusted
i mean how he could be so sure about that? and ive turned and shouted back while i saw faris walking cooled away into the tourbus´ direction
:" maybe baby!" OH MY GOSHHHH taylan!
 
some days ago my lovely neighbour joe from england just said this also to me after a conversation- and mentioned that this is just the farewell in
england- then i´ve wanted just to fall into a dark whole in the ground-
 
still so electrified after this concert in cologne and somehow the words "see you later" came always into my mind- so until then yes i´ve decided
to why not? ive searched about their great something to remember me by tour through the world, and saw that they will play in vienna too- a city i always
wanted to go once in my life and booked a ticket- god thanks for all these kind and gifts of possibilies and (my) ability <3
 
also there in vienna, the first great thing i saw at the airport was a great picture of someone- Bindo Altiviti, there was an exhibition of raphael at albertina,
the superlovely museum- before, at the german airport, ive met a kind woman who spoke from this exhibition, she is a history and artteacher and is always on
journeys following exhibitions of her beloved artists. dear christine. we met there then surprisingly and she told me so much about all the background of the artists
work and history- i just fell in love with raphael
and im in love with the horrors- they can do magic, too
 
at 0001 oh clock the telephone at the bermudafunk studio was ringing- shocked ive put it onto my ears and there was alexander- <3 he also have a great
radioshow at bermudafunk. i think country meets folk, and he just said:" sibel, it would be a shame, if you would stop your radioshows. i do listen them
fain- so..relax and see first whats happening in this 4 weeks- it would be shame..." i became tears in my eyes. never expected that he was listening
to my shows and that it may be nice for others and thanked him so much!!
 
after this short conversation i was just so overwhelmed that ive started to cry so very much. so really very from a deepest inside of mine,
that my whole face was involved and went dizzy into the corridor and let out such a great tear flood pain- went into the toilette and
cleaned my face with cold water and had a look into my face in the mirror- then the tears stopped and something changed inside- i felt so much better-
like a child is crying for some minutes caused of any anger in this moment and after this all is sunshine again.
just like this maybe.
something changed since this radioshow
and also ive had a nice rescued afternoon in the forest with my girlfriend sigrid and medicine talks and walks
which arrived in my mind while i was walking home- something made very "CLICK"- ive started to dance in the night- i have missed this doing- <3
and as i woke up this monday i wasn´t in this horrible flight-escape mode yet- iam not yet free or through of this all healingjourney- it will take
time but iam out some horror illusionstories in my head. and there is no end to i say thanks for this-
 
 
so i assume i will be here on sunday 18. july 2021
2300
live
(after this lovely call now 99% instead of 50%)
 
THANK YOU SO MUCH BERMUDAFUNK AND ALL- YOU!




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