Sendungen

Sonntag, 19.09.2021

welcome to
switch-für immer punk!
19 september 2021
 
war leider 2 x sehr lange im staugestanden :)
also der anfang dieser sendung:
sendung vom juni bis minute 08:38
sendung vom juli bis minute 12:40
dann:
tracks
 
* manche werden in der erde begraben, manche im herzen
* some got buried in earth, some in heart
* bazilar toprakta gömmülliler, bazilari kalplerde
 
mobile rec: 10092021 : whim /grille <3
mobile rec: 03092021 : sound while cleaning plastic
mobile rec: 14052021 : pumpkin man / turkey/ on tractor engine through the streets <3
porygon /india : transhuman - album alone bandcamp.com
porygon : exalt the black mirror - album machines bandcamp.com
depeche mode : precious album playing the angel
the byrds : turn!turn!turn!
udo jürgens : und immer wieder geht die sonne auf
backround : music for body and spirit/yt 528Hz, positive transformation bringen, negative energie reinigen, wunderton, ganzkörperregeneration
 
well, as some of you may know, that my current and last months behavior´s diagnoses from doctors is depression.
and as many i was on a way to have find myself a psych.ologist. he was very ok.for the first time. also he was half of native american
and practises also like a shaman. in these times, ive struggled with panic-attacks-
and he was there for me. also his lovely assistent gave me a lot of books from lovely paramahansa yogananda-
but...he sometimes had asked me the same things, or often forget my stories, which ive told him yet, kind of senile /seenile. cleara, hes
got hundereds of clients..well & he touched my stomach with his hands, so that i can breath and that he could heal or calm me down when i was
laying on a couch. with the words: "but dont announce me!" "no!"was my answer. cause i was glad, that he was there for me, even it doesnt
made it better. "once someone had announced me,she had misunderstood me-- so..."he´d told.
 
then, the last sitting, he´d rounded up the sitting with an nice prayer and at the end by saying goodbye he´d asked me:" you want a hugg?"
ive stood there, unable to think, just wanted, that i can feel better and listened to my words:" yes!" so, then the psychologist which is in my
size,hugged me. but he also took a deep breath with his belly- and told to me that i should breath also deeply. and they´ve touched. 3 times,
i felt myself so much wrong and it was so evil - we´ve said goodbye.
 
outside ive cleaned myself from this energy and made actions like a wet dog from water- wasnt sure of this feeling what was there -
 
i´ve told this happening to my sisters. they´ve couldnt say much. hmm.
 
it was two weeks later, and on my birthday it was the next date with him. unsure, if or what should i do i´ve canceled the date, cause ive thought,
hey not absolute on my birthday there..so... then after one week ive finally took my brave to call them and to tell that i wont come again there.
i was so damn unsure. i mean, when you know, who to trust? if one is good for one? ive never been before in such situation. i thank for this.
also they´ve been so kind to me and but my boundaries ive didnt noticed. it is always until, that the others are more precious, than me. hmm.
 
i was about 8 or 9 times or maybe more? there- beneath i know that the healer is in oneself. but sometimes
it is probably not that bad to get professional help or some impulses.
anyway- ive decided to be without one therapist and search than with someone, whose help doesnt fruits on me. and who tolds me again and again,
"but dont announce me!" "i feel gravity to you..it is not good for an psychologist." but these words doesnt came clear to me, yet.
 
ive told this a lovely friendo of mine, hey dear sascha, which have said, that i could be proud of myself, that ive choosen to say:stop! no this is
not good for me. that i have made the last weeks a quanton jump!
"by accident" and my inner voice and one guest of my pub who works in an institution for drugs guidance for teens, ive came weeks later to a lovely other
psychologist. a cute competent lady, which ive told this last wednesday this story- she was very outraged about this- he had utilizes fully my situation
and have told, that that, what he had done was emotional abuse- as an doc he must know this, and that i should announce him actually- asked about his name, which she stays of course in maintain silence
just to protect maybe other clients.. and that he also damages the name of therapists:" think again about announcement, but at the end it is your choice.
that, what you want will be done. here with me you wont have to fear that your boundaries get crossed."
i am so very glad, to have found her, by the lovely universe ive begged about to send me someone who could help me-
 
i wont announce him- and dont get me wrong, i dont judge this first doc- somehow iam glad or have to be glad again about this happening.
also he have always asked me and
yes, but i was just these times like a little child- not knowing what to do in this huge world. i was fucking needy- ive thought my intution wasnt there.
but at the end yes, she is always there. even i need more time into my handling.
 
i will make this through universe and speak with this one in the blue room one suit day
 
on soullevel he has given me a lecture, of being attentioned- also about my borders- and intuition and trust
 
but hey, in this spiritual world, no one tell you about the word NO! it is always be said:" be open, be open and open!
NO!
OK?
 
on humanlevel i have to learn and practise more about my faulty of borders- i do need.
 
so ..wednesday ive must started to cry- ive thought about my so dear sweet innerchild- which ive left again alone in this.
i wasnt able to protect it.again. even ive told it, that no one will abuse us again- like in childhood.
 
it always do forgive one- this confession made me cry.cry more and cry so very deep in the night-
yes, some pain sits deep. thanks to my tears and hope and love and
 
this is now a song, which may describe this discovery-detection and teariness of for myself-
 
aeh am i am in self pity now? ffff
 
porygon/india : exalt the black mirror -album - machines
 
while i was polishing my car, finally after over a half year of inability, i´ve found some cds, which lay unlistened in the back. ive tuned in the cd
and i´d remembered the time- what i had lived in this time, when the album came out- following song was the one and only which was not
disturbed from my inattentioned handling with the cd.
and this song, i do really like like a lot- which remains me not also on these gone times.
thank you so much, dear great
 
 
* reparierland * repaircountry * tamirhaneülkes
 
* wie kann ich nur soviel verschiedene lieben empfinden??
manchmal denke ich mir es ist einbildung- aber neeeeee-
thank you so much! love
 
* bazen düsüniyorum bukadar cok degisik asklari nasil hissedebiliyorum??
bu hayalldir ya bazen de..ama yok!
sana cok tesekkür ediyorum, sevgi!
 
* how i am able to sense love in so much different kinds??
sometimes i think to myself this must be imagination- but noooo--
thank you so much! love
 
* eine frage der absicht
* a question of intention
 
* du versperrst dir durch deine ablehnung einige annahmen.
empfindungen, menschen, gefühle, ereignisse, glück, seligkeit
 
* you blockade yourself through your denial a few receivings.
perceptions, humans, feelings, happenings, luck, blisssss
 
* ICH BIN I AM
 
* das hätte man auch anders machen können
* this one had could do it also different
* bunu da birisi baska yapabilirdi
 
* du hast dich aufgegeben,auch wenn du dich aufgibst, ich tu´s nicht- <3 friends
* youve gave up, also when you give up onto you, i wont - <3 friendos
 
* bedien´dich! selbstbedienung
* help yourself! self- service
 
* aussichtslose kämpfe
* futile fights
 
* auto stop system
* was magsch du?
* what do you like?
 
* des ist so hart manchmal ge, ..was ist was ....wann...thx.
* this is so hard sometimes, ge,--what is what....when... thx.
 
* das wars wert
* this it was worth
 
* manchmal vergisst man, dass man es mit besonderen menschen zum tun hat. weil sie zum alltag gehören
* sometimes you forget, that youre involved with special humans. cause they belong to daily routine
 
* machs nicht noch schlimmer
* dont make it even more evil
 
* frustration und angst entstehen, wenn wir nicht auf unsere seele/herz hören tun
*frustration and fear arise, when we do not listen to our soul/ heart
 
* for this feeling to end
 
* wenn ich den schmerz dieser person sehe, kann ich vergeben
* when i see the pain of this person, i can forgive
 
* unwissendheit wird zu monstern. führen zu monster verletzungen
* necsience become monsters. lead to monster violations
 
* noch mehr schatten- geh in dein herz- es heisst nicht, dass du es für gut heißt-
loslassen is viel sehr im licht als festzuhalten
* even more shadow- go into your heart- it doesnt mean, that you name it for good-
letting go is much more in light as to hold on
 
* musik => dein transportfahrzeug bringt dich überall hin
* music => your transportvehicle takes you everywhere
 
* aus japan oder china: entscheide immer so als wäre es das letzte mal!
* from japan or china : decide always like it would be the last time!
* japonya yada cin den : herzaman son kez olarak kararini ver!
<3
 
* spüren, niemals urteilen
?
* sense, never judge
?
* hisset, hic hüküm verme
 
 
 
* * eat/ do not eat
* smoke / do not smoke
* buy / do not buy
* say hello / do not say hello
* read / do not read
* walk / do not walk
* cry / do not cry
* give / do not give
* trust / do not trust
* watch / do not watch
* wait / do not wait
* be angry / don´t be angry
* smile / do not smile
* fuck off / do not fuck off
* drink / do not drink
* try / do not try
* laugh / do not laugh
* take care / do not take care
* fall again / do not fall again
* listen / do not listen
* designate / do not designate // markieren
* use / do not use
* hugg / do not hugg
* look / do not look
* call / do not call
* kiss / do not kiss
* try / do not try
* repeat / do not repeat
*
* ......
* there
* 2018
something to remember
 
feel
you do not want to feel or and
how do you feel then?
 
DANKEEESCHÖÖÖÖN!!
THANK YOUUUUUUU!!
TESEKKÃœR EDIYORUUUUM!!!
 
next show : 17. OCTOBER 2021
 
you are a wonder
<3




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